Sheever on hate: “Sadness was followed by anger, and that anger gave me the strength to move forward.”

The amateur tournament where I was working as an admin wasn’t being covered at all, so I thought, “Maybe I should stream it myself?” Another colleague and I were sitting there watching the game in silence, and at one point I said: “This is kind of awkward.” So we started commentating—just as best we could. To be honest, we were both terrible at it, but it was better than silence. It turned out to be a lot of fun. Someone messaged me saying, “I have another tournament next Saturday—do you want to cover that one too?” I agreed right away, as did the other admin, and we hosted it. For a while, I covered events on my own—I just really enjoyed the process, and that, I think, is the most important thing in this kind of work and really the only way to break into the field.

The amateur tournament where I was working as an admin wasn’t being streamed at all, so I thought, “Maybe I should stream it myself?” Another admin and I were sitting there silently watching the game, and at one point I said: “This is kind of awkward.” That’s when we started commentating—just as best we could. To be honest, we were both terrible at it, but it was better than silence. So we started commentating, and it turned out to be a lot of fun. Then another amateur tournament took place, and someone popped into my chat saying, “I have another amateur tournament next Saturday—do you want to commentate on that one, too?” I agreed right away, as did the other admin, and we did it. After that, we started commentating a lot and often. For a while, I commentated on my own—I just really enjoyed the process, and that, I think, is the most important thing in this kind of work and really the only way to make it big.

One day, I was invited to apply to GosuGamers. They had an opening on a volunteer basis—unpaid, of course; back then, esports was still at that stage. I applied, went through an interview, and they hired me. Back then, Purge was the main commentator, while TobiWan worked at joinDOTA, and they were competing with each other. My job was to commentate on the games that Purge couldn’t cover. There were so many matches back then that they couldn’t cover everything, and I was able to learn from the ones I covered.

And then, about 2–3 weeks before The International, GosuGamers wrote: “We need an interviewer for TI—will you go? You’ll have to share a room with a guy, though.” For a girl, agreeing to share a room with a stranger was, of course, a bit strange. Still, I said, “Sure, let’s do it.” And I went, even though I’d never conducted an interview in my life before.

I think it was precisely the enjoyment of the process that helped me push forward, because there was plenty of negativity and hate directed at literally everything you can imagine. And those comments, oddly enough, actually fueled me quite a bit—I went through different stages. At first, I’d get really sad—there were definitely tears—but after the sadness came anger, and that anger gave me the strength to keep going. I think I often used that to just keep doing my thing.

That said, I’ve been focusing on the negative here, but there were plenty of positive voices, too. I kept streaming on my personal channel, and it was small—it drew about 200 viewers. These people, in essence, are the ones who made me who I am today. They were ordinary people: not the typical “white knights,” but those who genuinely followed me with an open mind and offered simple, human support. I owe them a great deal.