BSJ on Dota 2: “Being a good teammate also means creating the conditions for your teammates to succeed.”

The biggest problem with our communication is that we assume people are listening. I think that’s the biggest problem. And I’m talking about things you can control. Obviously, it’s objectively better for that guy to know you’re coming, hear your calls, and not turn around at the 9-minute mark just to check the watcher. Sure, he didn’t make the best move.

But we’re talking about your perspective, right? When we ping a guy to come over and then don’t keep an eye on him at all, the only thing left to do is react to what he did. And that sucks if we reached out to him beforehand. <...>

I think this is a very dangerous trap that many Dota players fall into when they know what the theoretically best action is for others. We end up in a situation where you die here because your teammates were too slow, not because you didn’t show enough patience. …> All sorts of unpleasant feelings arise when we get fixated on things we can’t control. This really hurts us in many ways.

This is a lesson I learned about four or five years ago. I went through a period of one or two years where my main goal was to understand what is within my control and what isn’t. People talk about stoicism, about controllable and uncontrollable things, and so on; there are a lot of buzzwords and life gurus who talk about this, but it’s a very complex and very deep topic. The first step for me was realizing what I was doing. And I just had to trust that over time, slowly but surely, I’d be able to better understand what I can control.

I’m just trying to show you that this is absolutely true: what your Tidehunter did was a little strange, but still, he saw an enemy in the mid lane and thought that would be the best move. <...> I’m just trying to point out that there’s nothing you can do about it. Yes, it’s annoying, but it’s a perfectly reasonable move for Tidehunter. <...> Of course, theoretically, he should follow you. But then my point is that when he turns around, you should follow him. It works both ways.

On paper, your move is better. <...> But your death because you didn’t wait for your teammates is something you control, and it really affects the flow of the game. …> It’s better to do what you think is optimal, slowly, than to try to do it at the pace you’d set if you were controlling all five at once. It would be infinitely better for you to miss those two kills than to trade. Although I do that myself sometimes. ...> People make mistakes, and adapting to their mistakes or differing perceptions is perfectly normal. <...>

There are griefers and people who intentionally ruin the game, but in 90% of cases, the guy just did something pretty weird, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Being a good teammate also means creating the conditions for your teammates to succeed. And, to be honest, in many ways that means letting them mess up, but making sure their mistake doesn’t lead to your death.