SumaiL on matchmaking in Dota 2: “I’ve never been able to just sit around and play public matches.”

I think we won four or five LAN tournaments, were neck-and-neck with Team Liquid in terms of championship titles that year, and we only finished in second or third place all year long. And then at The International, we really messed up because of some kind of poor mental attitude. I think our expectations were too high because, on paper, we all thought this was the best roster. At least, that’s what I believed—that everyone was the best in their role. Maybe not so much Cr1t-, because we put him in the “five” position, but he was a “four” player. I don’t know why he agreed to it.

I didn’t give it my all at most tournaments—I only really cared about major competitions like The International. Back then, I didn’t realize how that affected the team. After all, the others were eager to train year-round, hone their gameplay in practice matches, and track their progress, but I wasn’t inclined to do that. Plus, I was young and didn’t understand that such preparation might be vital for my teammates, even if I didn’t need it myself. Now I see that this held back our development—we never became a truly united team, but remained simply strong players on an individual level.

I’ve never been able to just sit around and play public matches. I couldn’t back then, and I still can’t now. But this time, my teammates are understanding. And you know what I hate most of all? When I launch the game and see the usernames, to be honest, I’m overcome with disgust—I just don’t want to deal with people. They seem unreal to me. I seriously doubt that any of them ever went to school or even to an internet café. They’ve grown up online since they were practically six years old, without any normal face-to-face interaction, and I just can’t stand it. I don’t have the energy to break through this wall; I don’t want to sit there and reply to them in chat, I don’t want to engage in conversation with them, and I don’t want to deal with any of it. If there were players around me that I enjoyed playing with, I’d train, and I’d give it my all. But under these conditions—no.